On Falsehood
by Night Strider
Summary: Pointless drabble. Ren has his own way of looking at Anna. RenXAnna. One shot.


On Falsehood

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. I can't afford to be sued so please don't even start.

Summary: Pointless drabble. Ren has his own way of looking at Anna. RenXAnna. One shot.

A/N: Foremost, I have to say that I am NOT a het writer. I'm primarily a yaoi writer. I'm a novice when it comes to writing non-yaoi fics. Hence, the amateurism exhibited in this fanfic. But I do like this pairing, somehow, which is why I'm writing about it. Criticisms of any kind would be very much welcome.

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Oh. It was still green in his mind. Her look was; its very austerity was. There she was at the master's end of the table, looking like she was perfectly in charge of everything. She always looked like that; composed and to some people unused to it, intimidating. Ren wondered why Yoh was never really appropriated that seat. After all, Yoh was the man of the house, in a manner of speaking. Chances are, however, he was never going to bag the throne even in their marital period.

Being invited to this dinner, Ren had to say, was less than a savory prospect for him. He never really liked Anna; maybe even hated her bossy guts a little. Curry was served in the humble dining room. Ren could tell even before the pot was placed on the table by Yoh. He could smell the familiar aroma and he was guessing that it wasn't going to be as palatable as the one usually served in the Tao's opulent household. He wasn't about to complain in the open, as a request of courtesy. However, a slight sneer crossed his face, a habit he was rather unable to control.

'Yoh's cooking dinner.' Anna said. Her face was blank, and so was her glance. But like any day else, her words lacked in tact.

'Uh-huh. I can see that.' Ren said, tongue in cheek. He could hear Yoh scampering through the kitchen. Most probably suffering. It was almost an effort to imagine it.

Several minutes drifted by. Anna would occasionally demand Yoh to dispatch himself from his working place or move fast since she and the guest were evidently feeling the tinges of starvation already. Had he been a whit more courageous, Ren would've excused himself home by now. There was certainly an element of discomfort that seemed to linger around Anna. He was close to not being capable of withstanding it alone, and he wished indeed that Yoh would hurry with what he was doing. He sighed patiently, or put on whatever he might otherwise disguise himself with just to prevent Anna from knowing how bored he was getting. Forsooth, he had started having a hard time filling up the time. Just when was Yoh going to get done with the damned dinner?

When Yoh finally finished, he looked bedraggled. Later, Ren would mark this part of the dinner as the only comic bit of it. Fresh from the kitchen, Yoh scuttled his way to the dining table, almost recklessly dumped the oversized bowl in front of them and secured his seat beside Anna. Exhaustion was written all over his face.

'Done already. Thank goodness. Let's eat.' Yoh said. But Anna, always ready to supervise his betrothed's actions, told him to pray first, which they did to both Ren and Yoh's prolonged discomfort. She recited an orison then and closed her eyes. After which she gestured for them to get their share.

True enough, the meal was mediocre to Ren's liking. He didn't anticipate anything grand anyway, having been very accustomed to the Tao's haute cuisine. As if reading his mind Yoh uttered,

'It isn't much, but I hope it would do.'

'It's fine. I didn't know you could cook.' Ren replied in an attempt to humor Yoh. At least he should give him credit for knowing the first thing about cooking, which of course was not in line with Ren's duty as an heir to the Tao clan. Far from it.

'I've known how for ages. Anna here makes me.'

'Oh yeah.'

And after that the dinner resumed its bout of monotony. Ren could now easily see the less than perfect view of this union. He doubted if it was ever going to work out for both of them. There was, positively, a prophetic fear he felt for Anna and Yoh, and thought that if ever the marriage saw its success, it would only be through Yoh's patience. Just like the patience he was pulling up for this dinner.

They went on eating in silence, with anyone hardly raising his eyes up to take a shot at a conversation. There was scarcely a topic to pursue now that all had been said, now that the competition for the Shaman King had just ended, disastrously however. When the meal was over, Yoh collected the dishes. He disappeared once again to the kitchen and the clutter of his labor therein wafted through the air one more time, drowning any sound that rose elsewhere.

Sitting across Anna, in this kind of privacy, produced in Ren a sensation that was a stranger to him. He hadn't really had examined what he felt for her yet, other than being a tad annoyed at her manipulative urges. She gazed back at him, open-eyed, conscious of his scrutiny. Perhaps she had been aware of it all this time.

Then a sordid thought occurred to Ren. And it disturbed him to a large degree. He had been watching her—listlessly sometimes, meaningfully for the greater part--in truth, and must've found her interesting. Ever since he first met her.

'If there's anything you want to say to me, now's the time.' Anna said, point blank. Yes, of course, she knew. She was that perceptive, like she had see-through pupils. She even carefully chose an auspicious moment at which Yoh would be absent, thereby permitting herself and Ren the solitude the circumstance required.

Ren threw away any pretense and plans for denial. A bluff wouldn't work now, would it? But what to say to her, he hadn't yet formulated inside his head. He paused for a considerable while, leaned himself closer to the table and raised his face vis-à-vis hers. Despite his conceit and quick pride, he was utterly at a loss, now, smack right in front of her.

'Am I right in thinking that you invited me for a confession?' Ren said after some time, seeing now that the dinner was irrelevant to why he was there.

'You can put it that way. I don't want you to think that I'm leaping to conclusions; I just say things as I conceive them.' She breathed. 'As for me, I just want this unresolved business between us to be over.'

So his conjectures were right; there was a loftier significance to this meeting, and she deliberately chose this night to put an end to it once and for all. A refusal wouldn't change anything anymore. For Ren, there was too much at stake; his dignity and general reputation. He was under the impression that Anna had seen through him, noticed him espying her, known that there was a sort of superfluity with the way he paid her attention through furtive glances. One look from her was all it took to betray everything.

There was a protracted speechlessness. The kind of speechlessness Ren had not prior to this allowed himself to be stuck in. He would've said he almost fell for her. But of course the obstacles were innumerable, apart from the emotional lie that he was loveless, cold as death and perpetually passive which at any rate had to be maintained. He wanted to preserve his friendship with Yoh. That was one reason, although there were possibly a thousand others. But of course, too, Anna probably knew that already. Like any romance, he didn't expect it to be real. With her, nothing was ever real, not insofar as Ren was involved.

'I'm glad I had this opportunity.' Ren began, at pains to go on further. 'I kinda knew it would amount to nothing. I want you to know that I never had hope. With you, that is. You're right; this is the perfect time to curtail it. I apologize for any inconvenience I might've caused.'

'No affront taken.' Anna said. As typical she was concise with her words, albeit more discreet.

'I would appreciate it if no word of this leaked to Yoh.'

'You can trust in that. It's best that way.'

Ren stood up. It had taken more than fifteen minutes to settle the matter. He felt remorseful somewhat that he tarried longer than he would've desired. Half a minute would've done it; he could've just said he was sorry he ever thought of falling fast in love with her, that he ever pictured them in a blurry, preposterous, in a way illogical relationship, then walk away. Between now and the end of time, there would be the memory of this meeting. He would never forget it; it would be the cornerstone of his life, the one portion of it in which he almost had a paradigm shift where love and romance were concerned. Yes, he almost loved her. He was preparing himself to, without thinking. Now it became all so perfectly clear. It was just impossible. His best course would be to clear off and search for a peace of mind somewhere far from there, from her presence.

'I had better go. Tell Yoh I enjoyed his cooking.' Ren spoke as he eyed the exit. Surely this meeting didn't deserve to be endured longer?

'Although it would be a lie?'

'Although it would be a lie.' He repeated. He was sure he didn't enjoy the cooking, nor the meal, nor the holistic dinner, nor anything that had something to do with that night.

'Alright.' She agreed. For the first time, Ren witnessed her going against her will. He nodded at her one last time and vanished in the darkness. At his departure, tentacles that seemed to creep out of the night reached out to Anna. A loneliness came to her, one that seemed to be afraid to go away. Headstrong and challenging, it descended on her. She too would find the encounter pretty difficult to efface from her memory. Something precious had been established between her and Ren henceforth. No words would further pass between them, only understanding, only the realization that they could never be together in all reality.

_It's over, let it be over. _With these words, Anna lifted herself up, headed straight to the kitchen to tell Yoh to wipe off the table and went to the washroom to attend to her pre-sleeping hygiene.

END


End file.
